Destined Place
by addy10
Summary: He once hurt him and he regrets it now. But maybe it's too late for a happy ending? Aomine's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **He once hurt him and he regrets it now. But maybe it's too late for a happy ending? Aomine's POV.

Pairing: AoKise

Rated: T

Warning: Boys Love. [No Lemon]

**Disclaimer: Not owning anything from KnB. Not mine. Not at all.**

A/N: Making Aomine cry and regret things is immensely satisfying [He's not the only sadist here. *snickers*], even if he's not mine for the taking. He belongs to Kise and only to him.

* * *

_My destined place is not by your side._

How many times have I replayed those words in my head? How many times did I regret it? How many times I wished I didn't utter them? A thousand times, no, a million? Not enough. In every fucking second of my now pathetic life. If I haven't, I will still have Kise by my side. I will still have my sunlight. I will still have those smiles that never fail to lift my mood. But no, the bastard inside got the better of me. I _did_ really say them. It's my fault why there's only coldness, why I can't feel the warmth.

* * *

"_My destined place is not by your side."_

His face displayed so many emotions but the one that's prominent was those of hurt and betrayal. Tears were freely flowing down his face. He opened his mouth more than once but he can't simply find the words. And there was I, not feeling guilty or sorry. If I can be more of a heartless person I pushed it further, deepening the wound in his heart.

"_You see Kise, you're a hindrance. I am nowhere near my dreams with you clinging at me. It's best for both of us if we part ways...now."_

There were no regrets. I was so sure that's the best for me, ignoring the small voice that maybe, just maybe it's not the best for the blond. Kise finally managed to say something. His voice was trembling.

"_Ao- Aominecchi, th-that's.. you're joking right?" _He attempted to pass it off as some kind of a badly delivered pun, but there were still tears.

As stupid as ever.

"_It was fun, Kise. But there's no more of it now. I got tired of you, of this so-called relationship. I have my dream to pursue. I don't need excess baggage to weigh me down."_

Will he still retort to that?

"_I know you want to be something Aominecchi. I always know you dream for something big and never for once did I think that you'll never achieve it."_

He knows huh.

"_I won't be in your way. I'll support you. You don't have to get rid of me. I'll just be on the sideline. I won't come to you if you don't want. But please, just... don't tell me that you're gonna leave me."_

He mumbled those last words. I remember how hard he's gripping the hem of his shirt. How many times he gulped, fighting back the crack in his voice. How many times he tried so very hard to keep the tears from falling. I admit, there's a tingling sensation in my heart but I ignore it.

"_No. I want to do this alone. Having you won't help me in any way. This conversation is boring me. You should look at your pathetic self Kise. Look at how pitiful you are right now. Your fans will surely be disappointed with you. Fix yourself. Start anew. I know there are so many things that will make up with my absence from your life. You'll still find someone who'll cherish you more, who'll love you without any conditions but I'm afraid that person will never be me."_

That should do it right. Knock some sense in his head.

"_You're the one I love, Aominecchi. You can't expect anyone to forget the person they've dreamt of growing old with easily. It seems impossible for me."_

He disregarded the poignant confession. Kise must be some kind of a masochist. A first class at that. My patience is wearing thin.

"_Look here Kise. I don't care what kind of wretched dream you have, growing old and some shit with me. I'm telling you this. I want you out of my life. I want out of this relationship. Can't it be clearer to you?"_

I don't want to end this with me yelling and losing composure. We're both adults who know better. But the blond must not be right there yet. He's always the childish one.

"_You're confused. That's it. Maybe tomorrow it'll be fine ne? I'll try to put some distance between us so you'll never feel too suffocated. I'll cook your favourite and then we can watch those movies you like. I'll even play with you."_

What the fucking hell?! Is Kise trying to escape reality?

"_Damn! I'll say it one more time and don't expect another one after this. This is the fucking last time. Let me spell it for you. YOU and I are through. I don't want to be with you anymore. I'm sick of you..." _I breathe. The final blow. "_I love someone else now."_

That last one is a lie. I know that I'm not capable of being emotionally attached to anyone which is the other way for the blond. It seems that he latches himself to anyone who shows him affection. So vulnerable, so stupid. Although maybe, just maybe I learned to depend on him as well. Got used on having him beside me.

Kise gaped at me for a second before reality sinks into him. Without a word he turned his back and went straight to our room. I can hear the rustling of stuff being packed. Guess that did it for him. At least he's not allowing himself to look any more miserable that what he's done till this point. That's made me breathe more freely.

Kise was always like that. Unselfish, noble. I know after what I've said he won't push himself into me, not anymore. No matter how much he loves me, he always put me into consideration. At all times, my happiness first.

The blond walked out from the room heading towards me. He placed his bag down. He then raised his hands and I didn't attempt to move or avoid what's coming to me. I guess I deserve it? Should I expect a slap or a punch? I closed my eyes in reflex.

The sting never came. I feel his soft hands in my cheeks, caressing the tanned skin with his thumbs. I opened my eyes. His clear orbs gazing at me, so lovingly as always. I thought I'll cry with the tenderness etched on those gentle eyes. Somehow I want to regret my decision. There's a part of my brain that hated the idea. But no. I can't back off now. It's for the best.

He closed the distance and placed the softest, most gentle kiss I've ever received from him. But it contained the most emotions. Care, affection, kindness, acceptance, understanding, patience, love, love, _love_, the list can go on, everything that Kise felt for me. It lasted mere seconds and then there was the cold air and a slam in the door. He's gone. He's gone for good and that's what I want right? Then why is my heart aching?

I dropped myself in the couch. I sighed and sighed. That was intense and energy consuming, and guilt inducing. It was for the better. Kise's losing himself too much in this relationship. Aomine just wants him to be someone who can stand on his own feet, not relying on others. As for him, he also has his own reason. An offer to play for the National Team has always been his dream. He has to focus all that he has on that goal. Let go and leave everything and that includes Kise. He cannot assure that he'll be a great of man who can play on both sides. He has to choose and he chose his passion. He hope Kise will find what truly he wants in this life, by letting him go. He closed his eyes. He'll never _regret_ it.

* * *

What is he doing inside this horribly white room? Ah, an incurable illness. He smiled pathetically at himself. After years of being in the top, in the limelight, after bathing in success, he ended up in this squared room with no one beside him. He isn't invincible then. He's only pitiful. Now he's the one who wants to cling on someone. He wonders if the blond knows what become of him.

Kise has his own life now. He's genuinely happy for him. Their lives were never directly connected. They never saw each other after that fateful night. He moved on pretty quickly since he's so focused on something. The blond however did not. He heard it. That Kise reached a point when he wanted to end his life. He caused it, he knows. But he never bothered to lend a hand. He never bothered to console him even out of pity. He even forgot that the incident happened. He continued living his life the way he wanted it to be. He realized then, there was no room for regret. No turning back. How Kise recovered he didn't bother to know. He purged him out of his life. But then, Kise always remember. He sent cards on special occasions. They always bore simple words yet Aomine knows there are a lot of feelings behind. He didn't trouble himself to send the same, but he kept them. Reading those handwritten letters of someone whom he gave all of himself at some point in his life, it's comforting. He closed his eyes. Will dying compensate for his mistakes? Will dying be his punishment for hurting Kise? He hopes it does.

_Is he happy? Is he still smiling like some stupid kid? Does he still pout and whine? Ah, there are so many things that I want to know. So many things that I want to ask him. I want to hold his hand. I want him to tell me stories. I want to kiss him for the last time. I want to see him... I want to see him... I want to see him..._

Tears cascaded down my face. I never knew that I'm capable of crying. Now I proved that I can. This never makes anyone less of a man. It's bravery. Admitting your weakness, your yearning, your desire, you deepest wish. I thought my wish was to be playing in the crowd, to hear everybody calling my name, cheering on me. It never occurred to me that all I ever wanted is the warmth that a certain someone can provide. To stay beside the sunshine, hands entwined, his head leaning on my shoulder, I whispering sweet nothings to him while we both watch the sunset. Tch. I can't believe I can be _that_ romantic. But—

Too late. I can never see him. _He'll never see me._ I want to touch him. _He'll repulse on my caress. _I want him to tell me one more time that he loves me.

I reached for a particular letter that I had kept with me wherever I am. I opened it and read it for the millionth time, even if my eyesight is blurred by the tears.

"_Happy Birthday Aominecchi! You got your dream after all. I am so happy for you. I always know you can do it!"_

Some smiles. There were no hurtful words, no blame, no bashing statements. It's all honest words. Kise never lies. He always smiles. He's always warm.

"_It doesn't matter where you are; you're always in my heart. With love, Kise."_

More tears. He never does change does he? I chuckled. Do I still deserve his love? Now I can even think of exchanging my remaining time just to catch a glimpse of him. Even a minute is enough. Hell, even some seconds. How badly I wish that can come true.

Do I regret it? In a heartbeat, I'd say yes I do regret it and I'll bring this with me in the afterlife. Maybe there and then I can come back to watch over him and see his smiles one more time. I closed my eyes.

My destined place is by his side, after all.

* * *

**A/N: I originally wanted to end it here. A one-shot. I'll only update if anyone wants to have another ending [will take up 1-2 chapters more]. I can never promise that it'll be entirely happy though. T.T But at least it'll be a bit different. There'll be a hint of happiness and love. :)**

**Thanks for reading and drop a review if you please.**


	2. Chapter 2

Pairing: AoKise

Rated: T

Warning: Boys Love. [No Lemon] Self-edited.

**Disclaimer: Not owning anything from KnB. Not mine. Not at all.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

I wonder how long do I have. Or how short. The disease is slowly acting up, making me feel defeated, useless, _alone_. In reality I wanted everything to stop. If I'm going to die anyway, why prolong the agony? Again, is this my punishment? Did Kise felt the same way before? True, I am hurting physically but I know that emotional pain doesn't even compare to this, if it pushed Kise to end his life. I am really pathetic. A coward. Am I giving up? That's not the Aomine Daiki I know. There's more of me.

I am alone. That's nothing new. My teammates did visit me at times though. Only when they have spared instances which is scarce. I never built such close-knit relationship with any of them. I was absorbed with my own brilliance at that time. I never cared for anyone as long as I get what I want. And it didn't get me anywhere near the so-called happiness. I've been drowning myself with false bliss. I made myself believe that this is what I've always wanted and now that I have it, why think of other things?

My thoughts flowed to the blond again. Lately, he's all that I'm thinking off. He's occupying my mind non-stop. The urge to see him is more pressing than ever. I wonder if I can have the chance. Will I even be worthy to face him? I will apologize. It's never too late, not if I'm still breathing. But sooner or later, my savings will dry up and it'll mean that I won't get treatment anymore. That can only signify the end of me. I sighed.

If Kise is here, will he hold my hands and say that I shouldn't think so negatively? That we can survive this that he'll stay with me forever? Will he cry up and soothe me even if he's the one who looks like a mess with tears scrunch up his face? Will he stay with me till the last seconds of my life, gripping my hands and kissing it?

_Shit. I am rambling. _

I groaned when a sudden pain hit my abdomen. This was becoming more and more of a frequent thing. I can almost feel that my soul is leaving my body.

_Stupid! You're giving up way too soon. Thought you want to see your blond? You do right?_

I do. I do. I do.

_Then, fight, live up!_

It was only the nurses and doctors that waste their time on me. Talk about being paid. I can be foul-mouthed if I want; an asshole and a bastard to boot. Makes me wonder what Kise saw in me. I smiled.

"_Aomine-kun, time to take your medicines. After an hour you'll be undergoing some tests again." _

I grunted. Fucking meds, fucking tests. There's nothing you can do anymore. Let me be. I'd rather spend the rest of my remaining life anywhere but here. Feels like you guys are even shortening my life span rather than prolonging it.

"_Oh, and there's someone who wants to visit you."_

I furrowed my brows then snorted. Must be someone from my team or some fucker who wants to publicize my situation.

"_Not going to meet him." _

"_Eh? But he looks like he's a close friend. He insists on seeing you. And he seems a good boy."_

"_Tch. I don't care who the asshole is and what he wants. If I say I don't wanna meet him then I don't."_

"_Well— if that's what you want."_

I rolled my eyes. Who the hell wants to pity or ridicule me this time? I looked at the window. It was calm and serene outside. The sun is shining brightly almost mockingly. I miss playing in the court. I hope I can hold the basketball again in my hands and bounce it in the floor or even just in the park. It's good as anywhere as long as there's a loop where I can shoot the ball. I do have the energy, I do have the motivation, but do I still have the spirit? I know I haven't exactly given up on this sport, on my passion but somehow a part of me wants to push the thought of playing again. Maybe it's because I don't want to feel disappointment, to shame myself more than this. There comes a point in my life that it's all the reason that I've been breathing for, and suddenly everything will collapse on me. How fucking nice is that? I'm not the type to reminisce, to care for memorable happenings, but I realized when you're getting at the end of you life, you tend to muse over the past, unwillingly. It's like a freely flowing river. Flashes of events right before your eyes, -sometimes tears gather and regret builds up.

"_Aominecchi, come over here."_

_I heard Kise calling me from our room. Now what does this guy wants?_

"_Why? I'm watching!" He knows too well that I don't want to get interrupted._

"_Just come. I have something to show you."_

_Shit. _

"_If this is something stupid, I'm telling you Kise, you won't get away from this."_

_As I approached the room I was thinking of what kind of dim-witted trick Kise has in his sleeve. I opened the door. He was nowhere in sight. _

"_Kise."_

_No answer._

"_Kise!"_

_Still silence._

"_KISE!"_

_He's playing with me. Fine. Let him play alone. I was about to walk my way out when a pair of hands covered my eyes. I smell him near me._

"_Ne Aominecchi you're such a killjoy. Come, come. Sit on the bed."_

"_Bastard. You're covering my eyes."_

"_Oh. But this is a part of the plan." The blond giggled and Aomine had the urge to peel the hands off him. _

"_Trust me." Kise whispered almost huskily. He slowly guided me towards the bed while his hands were still on my eyes. I felt the side of the bed and Kise plop me on the soft mattress without taking his hands off._

"_Now, I'll ask you to please remain your eyes closed."_

_I groaned. This is so childish!_

"_Please. It'll be over before you know it."_

"_...Al right." _

_I felt the hands leave me. "Good boy." He snickered and I growled in response. _

_I heard Kise pacing around. I'm tempted to open my eyes but I didn't. _

"_Aominecchi, you can open your eyes now."_

_I slowly did what he says and I saw Kise kneeling in one knee in front on me. He has what seems to be a letter in his hand. There was a cake on the bedside table. My brows furrowed. What the heck is this? He racked his brains. It's not anyone's birthday as long as he can remember._

"_What are you doing? Get up." I ordered him to. He shook his head._

"_Just let me be. Just hear me out." The blond coughs for an easy access of his voice. He gripped the paper in his hand and laid his eyesight on it. He started to read and I could only watch. Out of curiosity. Out of anticipation._

"_Aominecchi,_

_It's been a year. A whole 12 months. A 365 days of counting. I know you're not the type to remember such thing. You'll call it petty, waste of time too but this is one way of showing you that I care, that I treasure this day and I love you more and more. _

_It's our first anniversary. How time flies by ne? During the entire duration that we've been together allow me to say that I came to know the real you. You may not be the sweetest guy around but you sure know how to make me smile and swoon for you over and over again. With just one of your lopsided grin, or lazy smirk or the confident smile makes my heart race. Your honesty always caught me surprised. Some will say that you're being frank is too much but I admire it. You never fear to say what's on your mind and you never fail to make me feel that I'm loved. We may have our fair share of fights and misunderstanding but I know it's normal for couples. We argue, we keep silent, we ignore each other but at the end of the day one of us ask for forgiveness and one forgive letting the hard feelings go. _

_Aominecchi, I always thank God for everyday that we're together. My only prayer is that what we have can last forever. I know in my heart that you're the only one I'll live my life with. You're the only one I'll give my everything. With that, I will work hard to give you happiness and love you more and more till it hurts me. I'll stay beside you as long as you'll have me, as long as I'm the one you love._

_You make me happy, you fill me up, you make me whole, you're my life. Happy Anniversary Daiki._

_With love, _

_Ryouta_

_Kise reached the end of his letter but he's not raising his head. To say that I'm surprised is an understatement. Sure, I don't remember that it's our anniversary, hell I don't count. But deep inside me, I feel ashamed. It's a special day and I know how Kise loves to celebrate occasions like this. He always does preparations, he always exerts effort and I just receive, always. This maybe is the first time that I regret not remembering. I should have ordered a bouquet of sunflowers or bought him some cute cell phone strap, because Kise is never the type that wants extravagant gifts. He's getting happiness over the smallest things as long as it's from someone he loves. I sighed._

"_Kise, look at me." I heard a sniff. He must be crying. I lift his head._

"_Why are you crying?" I softly inquired. He shook his head. I grabbed him and rest him in my lap. The letter was placed on the bed. My right hand connected with his left, our fingers entwined. The left one circled on his waist while his other hand slid over my shoulder. I kissed his hand over and over._

"_I'm sorry. I don't want to save myself by spouting excuses. I am really a bastard. I'm sorry for being one. I'm sorry for not remembering our special day. I'm sorry for making you cry again."_

_I placed a kiss on the side of his neck. He jumped a bit. More butterfly kisses adorned his fair skin._

"_I don't always tell you this but I do love you and I wish to spend my life with you."_

"_Really? He croaked. I gently wiped the tears in his face. _

"_Really." I smiled. "Since the day isn't over yet, why don't we have a proper celebration?"_

_His eyes lit up. "Sounds good! But how about the cake?" We both looked at it and I ponder thoughtfully._

"_Well, we can eat that later after we get home or maybe we can use it in a more delicious manner that involves licking. What do you say?" Kise flushed and I chuckled._

"_Aominecchi's really a pervert!" _

"_You do love this pervert though."_

_He looked at me lovingly._

"_Yes. I love you so much."_

_Our lips met in a heartfelt kiss._

That was just one bit of our past. We celebrated the next anniversaries in a manner that deems normal for couples which involves flowers, candlelit dinner, amusement park dates, movies and snuggling under the bed sheets to end that exceptional day. Sometimes I wonder have I done enough to make Kise happy or all that I've done is pale in comparison at how much I've hurt him? It's promiscuous of me to say this, but I'm hoping and praying that the happy moments weigh more than all the pain. I hope Kise can look back to what we had and smile while he recalls them, completely overlooking the bad ones. I don't want to leave this world without saying to him what I really feel and how much I regret the decision of choosing my dream over him. I should _not_ have chosen. I should have listened to him. I can have both. My dream and my love. But I was so career-driven. I was blinded with the success that was waiting for me. The thirst to prove myself. To think that Kise was a hindrance was the most stupid thing I came up with. Maybe I was really the stupid one between us.

The wind touched my face. The warmth of the sun almost kissed me. It reminds me of Kise yet again. His brightness to match this ball of fire. His beaming smile that envelops my heart. His eagerness and playfulness that rivals that of a puppy. I can't get enough of him and again it makes me wonder how I survived those years without my sunshine.

"_Aomine-kun, time for your tests."_

The nurse came along with the doctor and an attendant. They brought a wheelchair. _Damn! I'll look like an old fool once I sit on my ass in that moving chair. Tch. I don't have a choice._

I was assisted by the two men until I settle myself on the wheelchair. The attendant was at my back, pushing towards the desired destination. I looked over my shoulder and saw the letter in my pillow that I forgot to slid under it. I was torn by the desire to turn the chair and keep the letter out of anyone's sight but at the last moment I smiled. I guess I'll read it again when I come back. So Kise, wait for me, love.

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**A/N: This is taking up more chapters that what I've intended to do. I won't say how many more in case I'll change my mind, again. But since I'm enjoying writing this fic [thus the quick update], I could care less. In my standard this is in the fluff mode already and almost at limit at how far I can push it. Let's see if it can get anymore fluffier. ^^**

**Many thanks Mikan and Elle for the reviews and to those that faved/followed! *hugs***

**Elle: This is not a one-shot anymore. *You glad or not? Don't know if this made you cry again. :p* **

**Hope you liked this second chappie!**


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